Well

This is one way to proteset the airport bodyscanners. Possibly NSFW.

In a similar vein, I've been raising awareness about obesity by eating at Wendy's and McDonald's.

Since we've never tried it

How about training TSA personnel before we throw our hands up in the air and declare the situation hopeless?

Yeah, "your average TSA screener seems to be a working stiff, blindly following some not-too-complex screening algorithm in a three-ring binder ..." cuz that's what we told him to do. Hell, the restaurant/bar where I work nights has bouncers who do a better job of screening out undesirables, the underaged and the overintoxicated than the current screeners do. And they aren't well-educated guys who have to "pass a series of exams and ... a several-month course" before they man the door. They may, however, get cited by the liquor board and be held personally responsible for paying the fine for letting the wrong person in the door.

Yeah, there's a problem of scale, but singling out young men--of any ethnicity--and one-way travelers and people who have visited Yemen for educational purposes for further scrutiny makes more sense than randomly selecting every 12th, 100th or 221st person in the line for a full body scan.

Intelligence

In any way you care to define it, is the missing ingredient in airport security. We don't act on the information that we have and we make no attempt to gather intelligence on the ground. Instead, we implement all-or-nothing policies in the hopes that no one on the ground will have to think too hard.

Captain Underpants a) paid cash, b) bought a one-way ticket, c) carried no luggage; and d) traveled alone. Any one of these factors--coupled with his age and gender--should have been enough for some enterprising airport security worker to pull him aside for a little chat. And that doesn't even take into account his surname, religion or skin color.

That's the reason I don't like the notion of zeroing in on travelers from certain countries. Because once we've confirmed that the granny traveling with her extended family from Yemen has indeed had a hip replacement and that their infant's orifices are emitting only the usual substances, we can safely ignore the 21-year-old from London who's mumbling prayers under his breath and won't look anyone in the eye.

It may be impractical for us to fully implement the Israeli model given the sheer numbers of people who travel through our airports daily. But can't we do something with the information we have?

The Israelis make a point of talking to every passenger before he or she boards. When was the last time an airport security worker even looked at your face? They're too busy eying your purse as it goes through the scanner.

The Israelis single out people who buy one-way tickets and people who pay cash for their tickets. The 9/11 terrorists all bought one-way tickets to paradise.

In fact, terrorists have been and are still buying one-way tickets on planes they plan to bomb. That should tell us something. Because terrorists have to change their game plans when we figure out ways to circumvent those plans. The fact that the jihadis don't even bother to shell out the cost of a round-trip ticket nine years after 9/11 tells us that they know our security policies are stupid.

UPDATE: The sytem at work: Joan Rivers not allowed to board and milblogger Michael Yon handcuffed at gate.

I Love Glenn Reynolds

But I can't say I agree with the gist of this post. Are mandatory strip searches by religion extreme? Yes, and we should not implement the idea. But is it reasonable to search people from the countries that have the mode of the people who want to attack us? Absolutely. And if "irritating" someone, especially regarding airport security, leads someone to become a terrorist, I would think they would be well on their way already. And we would have a lot more American terrorists as well. Flying to the U.S. is a privilege, and if we cannot enact even these common sense ideas, we would be better off banning international flights from these countries altogether. Besides, as Glenn likes to point out, video conferencing is always an option.

Glenn, still love ya. But you are dead wrong on this and others will just be dead if we do not take immediate, sensible steps such as the ones the TSA now proposes for focusing on certain countries.

Update: Bill Quick also disagrees with Glenn.

Update II: The profiling of nations.

A sensible approach to airline security restrictions

Man nearly dies downing vodka at airport.

BERLIN (AP) — A man nearly died from alcohol poisoning after quaffing two pints of vodka at an airport security check instead of handing it over to comply with new rules about carrying liquids aboard a plane, police said Wednesday.

...

Instead, he chugged the vodka — and was quickly unable to stand or otherwise function, police said.

A doctor called to the scene determined he had possibly life-threatening alcohol poisoning, and he was sent to a Nuremberg clinic for treatment. The man, whose name was not released, is expected to be able to go home in a few days.

Thank God it didn't go to waste.

Thanks to Lisa.

Get a load of those WMDs

Southwest Airlines asks Hooters waitress and college student to get off of plane because of inappropriate attire. Kyla Ebbert's wearing the questionable outfit in the picture above.

I've seen worse in church. OK, I don't go to church, but you know what I mean. Anyway, given today's safety concerns, you'd think airlines would be encouraging more passengers to dress skimpily. Given the brevity and snugness of Ebbert's costume, it would be impossible for her to smuggle even a box cutter on the plane. Anything larger is out of the question.

Southwest explained its treatment of Ebbert in a letter to her mother, saying it could remove any passenger “whose clothing is lewd, obscene or patently offensive” to ensure the comfort of children and “adults with heightened sensitivities.”

...

After the plane filled, and the flight attendants began their safety spiel, Ebbert was asked to step off the plane by a customer service supervisor, identified by the airline only as “Keith.”

They walked out onto the jet bridge, where Keith told Ebbert her clothing was inappropriate and asked her to change. She explained she was flying to Tucson for only a few hours and had brought no luggage.

“I asked him what part of my outfit was offensive,” she said. “The shirt? The skirt? And he said, 'The whole thing.' ”

Keith asked her to go home, change and take a later flight. She refused, citing her appointment. The plane was ready to leave, so Keith relented. He had her pull up her tank top a bit, pull down her skirt a bit, and return to her seat.

On the "Today" show this morning, Matt Lauer quoted a Southwest spokesperson who said they were responding to a concern that was brought to an employee's attention. Whose concern? A fellow passenger's? Does this mean that if I complain enough I can get the screaming baby, who's inevitably on every flight I take, ejected for inappropriate behavior? How about the smelly fat guy I always seem to be wedged up against? I find them both offensive.

Apparently, Southwest hasn't always disdained such clothing, as the video below (via BloggingStocks) illustrates. And Mark remembers when Southwest sold t-shirts saying "I had a nooner on Southwest Airlines."

Wires, coils, cellphone components and blocks of cheese

Items found in the bags of four recent passengers traveling through US airports. Authorities say the items may be evidence of terrorists conducting dry runs.

The bulletin said the passengers carrying the suspicious items seized since September included men and women and that initial investigation had not linked them with criminal or terrorist organizations. But it added that most of their explanations for carrying the items were suspicious and some were still under investigation.

The four seizures were described this way:

• San Diego, July 7. A U.S. person - either a citizen or a foreigner legally here - checked baggage containing two ice packs covered in duct tape. The ice packs had clay inside them rather than the normal blue gel.
  
  
• Milwaukee, June 4. A U.S. person's carryon baggage contained wire coil wrapped around a possible initiator, an electrical switch, batteries, three tubes and two blocks of cheese. The bulletin said block cheese has a consistency similar to some explosives.
  
  
• Houston, Nov. 8, 2006. A U.S. person's checked baggage contained a plastic bag with a 9-volt battery, wires, a block of brown clay-like minerals and pipes.
  
  
• Baltimore, Sept. 16, 2006. A couple's checked baggage contained a plastic bag with a block of processed cheese taped to another plastic bag holding a cellular phone charger.

Who knew cheese could have such a sinister connotation? I generally associate it with the good life.

George: Yeah! Look at me! I was free and clear! I was living the dream! I was stripped to the waist, eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery!

Jerry: Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise.