Behold the pair of size 2 jeans, not so long ago worn with pride by your esteemed blog mistress. The challenge: To fit in those jeans once again. To that end, I will limit my caloric intake and endeavor--gasp--to take regular exercise.
Please note: The size 2 jeans of today aren't the size 2 jeans of yesteryear, rather size deflation has rendered the size 2 jeans of today to approximately the same dimensions as the size 6 of 20 years ago. This is an important distinction as it lets you know that this is no a pie-in-the-sky goal conceived of by a potential anorexic. Rather it is a reasonable goal that can be met with a modicum of self-restraint and--gasp--the taking of regular exercise. I will not, for instance, be using this product.
This, however, will not exactly be a walk in the park. For example, your blog mistress already has a pair of 21st Century size 6 jeans--formerly known as her fat jeans--that, thanks to the miracle of spandex, she can squeeze into but would probably result in extensive damage to her internal organs if worn for any length of time.
So I can't do this alone, people. Here's where you come in:
Join the Society for the Restoration and Preservation of Rachel Sawyer's Ass (SRPRSA).
SRPRSA is a charity that allows you, the reader, to express your support for this worthy goal. Your donations will be used to help fund pilates classes, to purchase healthy, fresh produce, to buy exercise gear and/or join a gym. Members will get a complimentary subscription to the SRPRSA newsletter, with frequent updates on how close Rachel Sawyer's Ass is to fitting into those jeans. Bloggers: Do your part by downloading the SRPRSA seal and displaying it in a prominent place on your blog with a link to this post.
Members who are interested in starting a local chapter of SRPRSA, please contact me for informational and promotional materials. Want to do more? Organize an SRPRSA walkathon, the money raised can go directly to the Restoration and Preservation of Rachel Sawyer's Ass, while the miles walked will directly benefit your ass. It's a win/win situation.
When Rachel Sawyer's Ass fits comfortably in the above pair of size 2 jeans members will receive a photo of Rachel Sawyer's Ass in said jeans, suitable for framing, to commemorate this great occasion. But SRPRSA will not disband once this goal is reached. Remember this is a society for the Preservation as well as the Restoration of Rachel Sawyer's Ass so the society will not disband until that Ass is defunct. This is a long-term project. Consider including SRPRSA in your will or estate plan.
Disclaimer: We here at SRPRSA believe in following a holistic approach to the problem of Rachel Sawyer's Ass. As such, your donations may also go towards items not directly related to the Restoration and Preservation of Rachel Sawyer's Ass. These may include, but are not limited to: vehicle repairs, a stranded Rachel Sawyer's Ass is not a happy Rachel Sawyer's Ass; life-affirming pedicures; jeans to cover Rachel Sawyer's Ass in the interim; and other items or services as needed.