Lose weight or lose your kids

Social workers in the UK have threatened to put six fat children into foster care if they don't lose weight.

Social workers have warned they will intervene if three of the youngsters – including a 12-year-old boy who weighs 16 stone – do not shed several pounds in three months.

The parents have been told they risk losing all their children if there is no improvement in the 12-year-old or two of his sisters aged 11 and three – who weigh 12 stone and four stone – by June.

The family have also been ordered to send their children to dance and football lessons to help them lose weight.

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Ironically, the family, from Dundee, first came under scrutiny by the authorities when they called asking for help managing their children, including their three-year-old daughter, who suffers from developmental problems.

Good to know the Dundee City Council has solved all their other problems facing the city.

Food, glorious food

Tom Hager says the obesity epidemic is a big improvement over the mass starvation that was routinely predicted not all that long ago.

It was not that long ago that all the experts were predicting that our skyrocketing human population would soon outstrip its food supply, leading directly to mass famine. By now millions were supposed to be perishing from hunger every year. It was the old doom-and-gloom Malthusian mathematics at work: population shoots up geometrically while food production lags. It makes eminent sense. I grew up with Malthus's ideas brought up-to-date in apocalyptic books like The Population Bomb.

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The underlying answer is this: There's a lot of cheap food around. Yes, walk into your local mega-grocery-emporium or just about any food-selling area anywhere in the world and stare the problem in the face. There's inexpensive, high-calorie food piled all over the place. Somehow we outsmarted Malthus. Food production has not only kept up with population growth but has managed somehow to outstrip it. There are ups and downs from year to year because of the weather, and there are pockets of starvation around the world (due not to a global lack of food, but to a lack of ways to transport it where it's needed). In general, silos are bursting. Tons of food gets plowed under the ground because there's so much of it farmers can't get the prices they want. Tons of cheap food (corn, for instance) is used to create more expensive food (like steak). Lots of food means lots of grease, and meat, and sugar, and calories. Lots of food means lots of overweight people.

I can’t say I’m surprised

It seems the UK is “having difficulties” establishing a database of fat schoolchildren, partly because parents are opting out of the system.

The largest database of its kind in the world, the NCOD was set up by the government as a tool with enormous potential for tracking and analysing trends in childhood obesity, and tackling this major public health problem.
Parents were asked for their consent to having their children measured, and the report said: "There is anecdotal evidence of higher rates of opting out of the measurement process among heavier children, which is supported by the findings of this analysis. This means the figures obtained from the NCOD are likely systematically to underestimate the prevalence of overweight and obesity."

Notice how they’re sure that all the fat kids are opting out. Clearly the point of compiling this database is to reaffirm the government’s belief that the UK’s schoolchildren are overwhelmingly pudgy.

But you know, even if my kid had 5 percent body fat, I wouldn’t give the government that information. Aside from the fact that I have serious doubts about the so-called obesity epidemic, this data gathering exercise is a huge intrusion. What happens after they get all the facts and figures? Will the government come round and check to make sure the lunch I’m packing is nutritionally sound?

Besides, even if your kid has to be hoist with a crane on a scale, just how effective do you suppose government intervention would be at changing that?

UK fat police issue manifesto

Here's what they propose:

• Printing a helpline numbers for advice with all clothes sold with a waist of more than 40in for men and 37in for boys, women’s garments with a waist of more than 35in or size 16 or above, and more than 31in for girls
  
• Banning the placement of sweets and fatty snacks at or near shop tills and at children’s eye level
  
• Taxing processed foods that are high in sugar or saturated fat
  
• Introducing health checks for all school leavers, both primary and secondary
  
• Allowing new urban roads only if they have cycle lanes
  
• Establishing a dedicated central agency responsible for all aspects of obesity