British girls are easy

In a poll of European men that asked: Which country’s women have you already slept with? British birds won by a mile.

This propensity of British girls to give of themselves, selflessly, over and over again, their minds seemingly unpoisoned by even the vaguest notions of discrimination, is excellent news for our tourism industry, which over the last few years has shown greater growth than any other in Europe. Youth tourism (meaning for those under the age of 35 — you may have noticed that the definition of ‘youth’ has gloriously expanded in recent years, perhaps in line with the increasing age of our population) constitutes a respectable 20 per cent of the world market. Aside from being lucrative, it also, according to the World Tourism Organisation, ‘plays a highly important social integration function’, a concept which British girls have taken to their hearts in a most committed and literal fashion. So about this time each year, when Europe’s young men mull over their holiday options, their limited budgets mean that they are apt to forget that what they really yearn for is to sink back into the fragrant, sophisticated embrace of a Collette or Gina; they are rational, they go for what is achievable — a quick knee-trembler by the bins behind the local KFC from a Kylie or a Kelis. They may indeed end up with a pig in a poke, but at least it will be an amenable and accommodating pig. A guaranteed poke in a pig, in fact.