So last night, I'm lying on the couch, clicking the remote when I stop at Martha Stewart's version of The Apprentice. Figuring it was just the soporific that I needed, I decided to watch. Then Martha opened her mouth. It was like watching an old Japanese monster movie: I could hear the words, but it appeared as if Martha were saying something else entirely. It was bizarre and unsettling. And unexpected: Her lips look basically normal.
But they'd been altered. It gave me a bit of a turn; I'd had no fair warning. And I'd just been dozing off, too.
So I've had enough. Normally, I'm a live-and-let-live kind of person. If you want to enrich the economy by spending thousands of dollars on plastic surgery, who am I to stop you? But I have to look at you. And I'm tired of seeing freaks with fish lips everywhere I look.
Besides, I'm bored by the whole Plame-gate affair. The Harriet Miers nomination leaves me cold. But this: This is something I can really get behind.
So who's with me?
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