I love to play pickup basketball games and couldn't stop laughing reading this piece about the characters who are usually involved in pickup games.
I'll add: Clearly Awful Guy. This guy has no pretenses about who he is- he cannot play basketball. Everyone treats him like a 2 year old who just used the potty for the first time whenever he does something good, or just not something terrible.
And if you're wondering, I'm approaching "Young Old Timer."