Nobody suffers from lumbago anymore

Which is a pity, because it's a much better term than lower back pain, funnier too. In the same vein, dipsomaniacs are much funnier than drunks--who are pathetic creatures to be pitied--or alcoholics, who are rather pretentious. And while we're at it, I'd rather have dyspepsia than indigestion or the much-too-clinical term, acid reflux disease, which is no fun at all.