Static electricity

I'm covered in it: My hair's flying all over the place and my favorite warm, fuzzy robe--an essential item of clothing now that the weather's dipped below freezing--positively crackles every time I move. Seriously, if I could figure out how to hook myself up to my computer, I'd save a fortune in electric bills. The other day I was terrified when I had to fill up my gas tank that a spark from my supercharged self would blow up the gas station.