An open letter to Susanne Osthoff

Dear Susanne,

Now that you have decided to return to Iraq, I can only hope that your friends from your previous visit decide to look you up again and treat you to some more of their famous hospitality.

You might find, however, a certain reluctance on the part of Angela Merkel and co. to arrange for your passage home this time.

Don't worry about it. As you said, these people are poor and they need the money. And since they don't seldom kill women and children, you'll probably be OK. Besides, think of how much money they could raise from like-minded people when they release your beheading video. If done properly, it could be the biggest thing since they offed Danny Pearl.

Yours,

Tinkerty Tonk