The wit and wisdom of Osama bin Laden

Messages to the World: The Statements of Osama bin Laden was released today by the publisher Verso, which claims there's a need for a scholarly compendium of bin Laden, who's "one of the best prose writers in Arabic," according to Bruce Lawrence, an Islamic studies professor at Duke University who wrote the tome's introduction.

Here's Osama's prescription for America:

Alcohol and gambling would be barred and there would be an end to women's photos in newspapers or advertising.

Any woman serving "passengers, visitors and strangers", presumably anyone from air stewardesses to waitresses, would also be out of a job.

The West must "stop your oppression, lies, immorality and debauchery that has spread among you" and has become the "worst civilisation witnessed in the history of mankind".

But, hey, under his stewardship, the US would sign the Kyoto treaty. In every cloud ...