When CliffsNotes prove too difficult

Try the Complete Works of Shakespeare in txt, coming next year to students in the UK. Here's a couple examples:

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

Five sisters wanting husbands. There are two new men in town - Bingley and Darcy. They are handsome and wealthy.

5SistrsWntngHsbnds.NwMenInTwn-Bingly&Darcy

Fit&Loadd.

JANE EYRE

Jane and Mr Rochester (eventually) fall for each other. But, on the day of wedding, it turns out that he already has a wife in the attic who is mad.

Jane&MrRochster(eventuly)Fal4EachOtha.

Bt,DayOfWedin,

ItTurnsOutHeAlredyHasAWyfInThAtikHuIsMad.

More txting breakthroughs:

Statues that will pee your text messages.

While they are peeing, the two figures move realistically. An electric mechanism driven by a couple of microproccesors swivels the upper part of the body, while the penis goes up and down. The stream of water writes quotes from famous Prague residents.

The toy:

The Toy is a hi-tech vibrating bullet (read: vibrator). Connected to a mobile phone via Bluetooth, this toy will becomes "an intimate, silent connection" between two lovers, regardless of distance. I'm sure you get the point here.

Related: The Commissar on the latest iPod accessory.