Nov 29, 2005

Abalone-flavoured macadamia nuts

Spirit Fingers looks at Christmas gifts.
When buying gifts for others, I always try to go for something that is brightly coloured, mildly useful and belies its inexpensiveness.

This strikes me as a pretty good rule of thumb. The problem with the holiday season is the pressure to buy gifts for people you don't give a rat's ass about, but are expected to give to. That sounds harsh, but you know what I mean.

Take your co-workers. Sometimes there will be an officially sanctioned grab bag, which is fine, but it takes a lot of work to buy a generic gift for $10 that will be suitable for everyone. Then there's the secret Santa notion. Inevitably, I'll draw Ernie in accounting or some such person who I've barely glanced at in the hall, let alone had a conversation with. Again, what do you buy for a guy you barely know? If you only have a couple of co-workers, you've got to buy both of them a gift.

Then there are your kid's teachers, the neighbor who took in your mail while you were away, etc., etc. When My son was in grade school I went on a yearly cookie-baking binge and would duly deliver said treats to the school, neighbors, etc. Then one of my neighbors went in the hospital for a quadruple bypass. It seemed kind of like murder to give him a box full of saturated fat and sugar. I believe I gave him a box of oranges.

Being on the recipient end of those gifts is equally problematic. First there's the giver who bought you a gift and you didn't buy her one, causing panic to ensue. Then there are the terrible gifts: Gag gifts, candles scented with what smells like cat piss, statuettes of Santa in which his belly is a candy dish.

What's the worst gift you've ever gotten? And how do you handle your gift-giving obligations?

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