Rats

Of the neighborly variety.

These neighborhood feuds can get out of hand. Years ago the man across the street from my parents' house began parking his tractor trailer in his driveway. Aside from the fact that it was big and ugly, it was a huge inconvenience when he backed it out to go to work. As I recall, the whole neighborhood was fuming over it. Then one day, the doorbell rang and it was the guy across the street. The police had come out to issue a summons to tractor trailer man, who was incensed. The cop, perhaps wanting to take the heat off himself, told the man that my father had called the city to complain. He hadn't. Until the guy died about a decade later, everyone in the family was treated to the evil eye whenever we came into contact with tractor trailer man. Fortunately he didn't take it any further.

When I worked for a suburban newspaper, some of the biggest neighborly disputes took place before the local zoning board. In one instance, neighbors objected to a landscaping plan. It was extremely elaborate, calling for giant berms to be constructed both in the front and back of the house. Inspectors were called, hearings were held and the work was stopped and started many times. Mostly I think neighbors objected to the constant coming and going of dump trucks with fill. I remember driving by and seeing a crane atop a berm that was higher than the house. An odd sight on that sedate, tree-lined street. The neighbors won some battles and they lost some. After construction began again for the umpteenth time, we began getting anonymous letters at the paper. The writer said he's seen the homeowner burying dead bodies in the back yard--he was a mortician. I think there were renewed calls to bring the inspectors in to exhume the purported bodies. I can't remember if anything came of it.