Kids these days

When a friend's sister finally had her first and only child, his mother never put him down--literally. She would carry him around in a snuggly all day long, only letting him go when he'd fallen asleep for the night. By the time J became a toddler, he decided when to go to bed. Unfortunately, bedtime never arrived and J was up long past his bedtime; indeed, he was up long past his mother's bedtime. OK if you want to live like that but extremely annoying when you're an overnight guest at his parents' home.

Getting my sister's son into bed, on the other hand, is an all-night endeavor. It starts with a bath right after dinner and can last until midnight or later as T demands another bottle, story, whatever. He may only be three, but T is a master manipulator.

Scenarios like these make Supernanny required viewing for the parents of today, says Donald G. McNeil Jr.

My mother read Dr. Spock. But she also had five children in eight years, starting at age 33. She was actually a great 1950's mom, with huge reserves of patience, cool Halloween costumes and memorable Christmases, but when our spats woke her at 5 a.m., she could lay about us with a pink slipper with a sole like a blackjack.

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And yet I loved her, and most of the time I didn't think her punishments were unfair. Unfortunately, she died when my siblings and I were teenagers, and so wasn't around to offer us child-rearing advice. By the time I needed it I was living on the Upper West Side and the age of Attachment Parenting had dawned. Nothing was to be denied (except television). I had cousins whose children, weaned long after they could walk, disliked meals. A food bag was hung from a chair so they could graze.

My younger daughter went to a parent co-op for day care. The director was adamant that the children's feelings be respected at all costs, and the worst she would say was, "It makes me unhappy when you do that."